有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 16:55:00

工作辛苦了。进来让你开心一笑

一对夫妇投宿旅馆时,老婆想要洗澡却担心的对老公说:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">看报导,某些旅馆或饭店都会藏有隐藏式的摄像机,万一真的被拍到,那该怎么办?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老公一脸不屑头也不回的说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">放心!依你这种身材即使被拍到也会剪掉的!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 16:55:00

<span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">老侯夜半时分带着一身酒气回到家,倒头便睡。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  一会儿,他老婆推搡着他直喊:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">哎哎,你刚才在外面做什么了?!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老侯:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">没做什么呀</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">……” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">没有?那这条蕾丝内裤</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">……” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">哦,酒巴搞气氛赠送的。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 16:55:00

<span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">老头子买了一个助听器,又怕老伴批评,于是就向她夸这个助听器如何如何地好用。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  他说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">这是我这辈子用钱最恰当的一次。没有助听器时,我几乎听不清别人说什么。可现在呢,连楼下的厨房里水开了都能听见。半里外的汽车发动声也能听清了。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老伴一个劲地点头,问他:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">什么价钱?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老头子看了看手表说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">两点一刻。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 16:55:00

年轻人下班回家,发现新婚妻子在发愁。<span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我真是没用,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">她说,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我刚才替你熨那套西装,把裤子臀部烧了个大洞。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">不要紧,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">她丈夫安慰说,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">那套衣服我多备了一条裤子。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我知道,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">妻子高兴起来说,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">幸亏这样,我已经用那条裤子把烧的洞补上了。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 16:55:00

<span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">对新婚夫妇卿卿我我地坐在沙滩上看日落,太太随便抓起一把沙,不经意地对丈夫说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">真奇怪,无论我抓得多么紧,它总是从手指缝里漏走,最后就只剩下那么一点了。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  丈夫接口道:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">亲爱的,在这美妙的时刻,还是不要提我那微薄的薪金吧!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 16:56:00

<span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">妻子:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">亲爱的,你能去把昨天晚上用过的碗碟洗一下吗?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  丈夫:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">不,我还没有睡醒呢!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  妻子:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我只不过是考验你一下,其实碗碟都已经洗好了。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  丈夫:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我只不过和你开玩笑,我是非常愿意帮你干活!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  妻子:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我也是和你开玩笑,既然你愿意洗,那就请你快去干吧!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 16:56:00

<span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">夏天天气酷热,动物园管理人员为动物们安装了空调设备,如此一来,动物园的供电严重超负荷。领导只好做出如下决定:晚上</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">8:00--10:00</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">用电高峰期,动物园职工宿舍楼断电以保证动物们用上空调。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  大明对他老婆单位的这种做法十分不满,气呼呼地说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">怎么我的待遇连动物都不如?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老婆答曰:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">其实也不是完全不一样,非洲野猪的房间里也是没有空调的。</span>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 16:59:00

<p style="TEXT-INDENT: 21pt"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  一个突然停电的晚上,屋子里一片漆黑。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  妻子着急的对丈夫说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">快把你右边的火柴拿来!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  丈夫喊道:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">这么黑,我伸手不见五指,怎么分得清哪是左边哪是右边?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span></p>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 16:59:00

丈夫:亲爱的,明晚我要请一位同事来吃晚饭。<span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  妻子:什么?!你疯了吗?房子已经很久没有打扫过了,我也很久没有去超市买东西了,家里的三十个碟子都还没有洗,我也不愿意下厨房去做点什么像样的晚餐!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  丈夫:我知道,亲爱的。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  妻子:那你干嘛还请同事来吃饭?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  丈夫:因为那个傻小子居然满脑子想着要结婚。</span>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 17:00:00

一名男子喝得醉醺醺的回家,喝了<span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">12</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">罐</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">Budweiser</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">啤酒的肚子就像海浪中的船,东晃西晃的晃到家门口刚好被老婆逮到,相当不悦的她,猜想老公一定又和那个野女人鬼混。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">你整个晚上死到哪里去了?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">她质问道。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">在新开的那家很棒的沙龙啊,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">他说,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">金色沙龙,那里的一切都是金色的。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">胡说!!哪有这种地方?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">当然有!金色的门,金色的地板,连尿壶都是金子做的!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老婆当然不相信他的鬼话,第二天拿了电话本,找叫金色沙龙的地方,就打电话到那里查证老公的故事。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">这里是金色沙龙吗?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">她向接电话的酒保问道。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"> <br/></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">没错。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">你们有金色的地板吗?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">可以这么说。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">那金色的尿壶呢?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  停顿了好一会儿,然后女人听到酒保大吼:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">嘿,公爵!我想我逮到那个在你萨克斯风里尿尿的家伙了!!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 17:00:00

有一对夫妻,老公正看着电视,啃着瓜子,忽然间老婆从厨房喊着:<span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">老公,可不可以帮我修电灯?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老公不耐烦的说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我又不是水电工!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  没多久老婆又喊:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">老公,可不可以帮我修冰箱?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老公不耐烦的说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我又不是电器维修工!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  又过了一会老婆又喊:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">老公可不可以帮我修酒柜的门?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老公觉得很烦,生气的说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我又不是木工!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  然后就跑到外面喝酒解闷,过了一小时,老公觉得心有愧疚,决定回家把那些东西修一修,但是回家后,发现东西全修好了,便问老婆:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">东西为什么都修好了?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老婆说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">你离家后,我就伤心的坐在门外,碰巧有一个年轻帅哥经过,知道这件事后,关心的说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">‘</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我可以替你修!但你可以选做蛋糕给我吃或跟我亲热一次!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">’” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老公听了就说:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">那你做什么蛋糕给他吃?</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">” <br/></font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">  老婆回答:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">“</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">我,我又不是做蛋糕的师傅。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: ??"><font face="Times New="New"Roman">”</font></span>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 17:01:00

<font face="Verdana">警局的电话突然响起……<br/>  “这儿是高雄餐旅专校,有内衣贼进女生宿舍啦!!请你们马上派人过来好吗??”匆匆忙忙的声音,从电话那头传了过来。<br/>  “嗯……???听你的声音,你是男人吧!!您是舍监吗??”警察若有所疑的问着。<br/>  “不是啦!!我就是那一个内衣贼啦……”声音越来越急促的从那头传过来。<br/>  “哦……!!到底是怎嘛一回事呀?”警察微怒的问道。<br/>  “快来呀……我被她们包围起来了……生命有危险呀!”内衣贼哭泣的回答<br/>本文来自: 中文幽默王(www.haha365.com) 详细出处参考:http://www.haha365.com/xd_joke/20080721163719.htm</font>

有道理 发表于 2009-10-15 17:02:00

<font face="Verdana"> 老农夫早年丧妻,经媒人介绍一名三十四、五岁的女子结婚,新婚之夜,老农夫怎么看新娘子都不象三十四、五岁的样子,于是忍不住开口问新娘子:“到底几岁?”<br/>  起初新娘还不肯说,后来在是不住老农夫一直的询问,然后才幽幽地说:“人家其实四十七、八岁。”<br/>  对于这个答案,老农夫还是半信半疑地说:“我们两人木已成舟,你不妨就说实话,到底几岁?”<br/>  新娘不愿这个问题一直问个没完,因此说:“这样好了,我告诉你实话,你就别在追问了,我今年刚满五十五岁。”<br/>  “五十五岁!”老农夫虽感到吃惊,但还是有些不相信,不过已不好意思再问下去,老农夫看看时间,发现已不早了,便起身对新娘说:“我要去厨房一下。”<br/>  新娘追问:“这么晚,去厨房做什么?”<br/>  老农夫答:“我要去厨房把盐巴的盖子盖来,不然我这的老鼠晚上会起来偷起盐巴。”<br/>  才说完,新娘噗嗤笑了出来说:“我活了六十七岁,也没有听说过老鼠会偷吃盐巴的事情。” <br/>本文来自: 中文幽默王(www.haha365.com) 详细出处参考:http://www.haha365.com/fqxh/20080711211058.htm</font>

eullan 发表于 2009-12-2 16:12:00

<b style="FONT-SIZE: 12px; LINE-HEIGHT: 15px">工作辛苦了。进来让你开心一笑</b>&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="font10" style="LINE-HEIGHT: 20px"><img alt="发帖心情" src="http://www.1000bbs.com/skins/Default/topicface/face1.gif"/></span>ok!

ws719672748 发表于 2011-3-31 14:54:00

<img alt="" src="http://www.1000bbs.com/Skins/default/topicface/face6.gif"/>&nbsp;LZ辛苦了

zacaooo 发表于 2011-4-3 13:36:00

<p>笑过好几场而过</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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